Sin Cities or a Lawyer's Dreamland?

Posted by wlansden | Filed under

Colorado Attorney General John Suthers recently remarked at a conference of state prosecutors that "[v]irtually all the misbehavior the law proscribes can be attributed to a few basic vices that have always plagued the human race. They’re called the seven deadly sins: greed, pride, lust, anger, envy, gluttony and sloth."

Researchers at Kansas State have "mapped" the 7 deadly sins by plotting per capita statistics on crime and other sordid deeds.  Places to avoid or opportunity knocking? These maps might present places for a budding legal career to flourish.

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Proofread

Posted by wlansden | Filed under , ,

By  Brian Malcom

Just in case you missed the bench slap handed down by U.S. District Judge Gregory Presnell recently, here it is.  For all you grammar nuts out there, this is a feast.  Above the Law covered the story this past Monday.  Apparently, the district judge was not impressed when the plaintiff's lawyer filed a response and motion.  Nault v The Evangelical Lutheran Good Samaritan Foundation

There is red ink all over this thing.  This is my nightmare.  It was bad enough when professors did it.  It still stings when partners mark a draft up.  But, the red ink is especially piercing when it comes from a federal judge.

Above the Law reports that the motion was denied for, among other things, "being riddled with unprofessional grammatical and typographical errors that nearly render the entire Motion incomprehensible."  Ouch!  The judge also ordered the plaintiff's attorney to re-read the Local Rules and the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure in their entirety.  Here's the kicker: the court even ordered the plaintiff's attorney to deliver a copy of the order and the court's exhibit, which was most likely the marked-up copy of the attorney's motion. 

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"Off The Wall" Legal News: Sorry, We Gave You The Wrong Embryos

Posted by wlansden | Filed under ,

By Robert Chapski 

Even though I don't practice any kind of law remotely related this this story, every once in a while I come across something that makes me scratch my head thinking about the legal implications.  CNN reported yesterday on a story where a woman was mistakenly implanted with the "wrong embryos" (i.e., embryos from other genetic parents).  The mother has apparently elected to continue with the pregnancy and give the baby to the genetic parents without controversy.

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Lawyers Doing Good: TP the Jail

Posted by wlansden | Filed under

By Brian Malcom

Lawyers in Birmingham, Alabama toilet papered the jail and got away with it.  Criminal defense attorneys donated nearly 3,000 rolls of toilet paper  and other supplies to the local Jefferson County Jail, after they learned the County was forced to severely ration toilet paper due to a budget crisis. 

It's funny how much you appreciate toilet paper, when you are being rationed two to three strips per visit.  Good job, Birmingham lawyers.  I wonder if they placed their names and contact information on each sheet?!

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What Can You Do With a Dream Deferred [Indefinitely]?

Posted by wlansden | Filed under ,

By James Bowden

Many apologies to Langston Hughes, but today’s news that Alston-Bird LLP and Baker & McKenzie have told their currently deferred crop of newly-minted attorneys, “Don’t call us … We’ll Call You,” reminded me of the uncertainty that rippled through my whole law school class last year as the first round of deferrals were issued. The most terrifying thing I remember is that deferrals were completely indiscriminant; they often affected the classmates of mine whom I thought the most of – the brightest and the best. Today’s news suggests that cold acceptance of certainty may have come too soon.

Those months were filled with serious thought and discussions about what people could do, particularly considering the debt load that so many of us took on to simply be eligible for the employment that was suddenly evaporating. And then something strange happened: dark humor crept in.  So in that vein, here’s a short list of possibilities (some serious, some less so) for what members of the newly-titled “lost generation” may consider as alternate routes to the top:

  • Hang up a shingle in a small town. Seriously. I asked one of the most respected attorneys in town once whether he preferred practicing as a litigator in a corporate law firm or being a small-town generalist. His response: “Have I told you any stories about how much fun working in a law firm is?” He hadn’t.
  • Become a white-water raft guide / scuba instructor in Costa Rica. Wait, that’s my plan – hands off!
  • Look for work in smaller markets. BigLaw is BigLaw because of the talented people who work there, not solely as a result of geographic coincidence. When the talent [i.e. young attorneys] go elsewhere and work for lower rates, the work will follow them.
  • Start a hip hop career, rocket to stardom, and then steal the mic from America's sweetheart and get the president to call you a jack---. Actually, skip the last part or Jay Leno will make you cry.
  • Go do something that makes you happy, helps other people, and leaves you with stories to tell for the rest of your life. Note: you should be doing that anyways.
  • Alpaca farmer. ‘Nuf said.
Before I’m accused of being in bad taste, I want to say that close personal friends of mine whom I think the world of and genuinely look up to are being hurt by these indefinite deferrals. I want them to remember that they are still and will never cease to be the best hope for a better future. I’ve always said that what irks me most is when my parents’ generation tells my generation that there is no way we will be able to succeed the way they have. They’re wrong – we’re just going to have to spend a few years cleaning up their mess, first. 

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Good Idea - Bad Idea: Taxes

Posted by wlansden | Filed under ,

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Depositions: The Hits Just Keep On Coming

Posted by wlansden | Filed under ,

By Eileen Burkhalter Smith 

I have decided that no matter how many I take, there is always something that comes up in a deposition that I wish I would have considered before we went on the record.  Am I alone in this? If not, here is a short list of my most memorable discoveries…*      

  • The Plaintiff has the burden of proof, so generally the Defendant gets to take depositions first.
  • Your witnesses are deposed at your office.
  • Non-parties get a witness fee (by statute in Tennessee) and experts are paid for their time during the deposition. 
  • For Federal cases, there is a time limit for depositions.  In Tennessee State Court there is not. 
  • Generally, in State Court, a deposition is a public proceeding and anyone not a testifying witness may be present.
  • “Late-filed” exhibits are very rarely collected.  Get these BEFORE the depositions.
  • Depositions should not always be considered a way to get all the information.  Consider what you are actually trying to do with it.
*Obviously, these are all subject to local practice and significantly depend on your relationship with opposing counsel.

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All that Glitters is not Gold

Posted by wlansden | Filed under ,

By Bindu Liang 

When law firms began deferring incoming associates of the Class of 2009 clerk's start dates until 2010 in early 2009, complete with a fat check to spend a year however they desired, it sounded like a golden year for those clerks. Who hasn't had dreams of traipsing across Europe or perhaps southeast Asia for a year (even doing some humanitarian work while traveling) before jumping into a legal career - particularly if it is prepaid.  Now however, the gilt has worn off and those clerks are nervously hoping their job offers have not somehow lapsed.

The Class of 2010 are stuck with an even starker reality - far fewer summer clerkship opportunities. It is such a widespread phenomenon that the ABA law journal has labeled it the "the lost year."  Summer clerkships at large firms have been reduced so significantly that only about half of the positions normally offered will be available. As a result, the competition is more stiff than ever as law firms have access to the class of 2009, the class of 2010 and the numerous laterals in transition. In fact, the compression will cause competition for jobs between the two years for the foreseeable future.

For the majority of class of 2010 students, this means having to set aside expectations for a "summer clerkship at a large firm" and become more creative in securing positions for the summer of 2010. Options include: (1) clerking for the government - U.S. Attorneys Office is a great place albeit no pay; (2) clerking with a non-profit organization; (3) clerking with a judge (even lower court state judges); (4) clerking with in-house counsel; (5) study abroad; (6) legal clinics at your law school or (7) working with a law professor. Although most of these positions are unlikely to result in a permanent position, they do provide excellent contacts and an advocate in your job search come fall of 2010. Learning to network now is an invaluable skill that will only grow more useful throughout your legal career.

On a related note, for those of you concerned about paying the massive loans that often come along with a law degree in the event you don't immediately find a job -- the government will help you out for federal loans.  
It should also give some encouragement for those of you planning to take a leap of faith and start a solo practice (or with a few of your law school friends) after graduation - do it! (just don't commit malpractice)

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New Associate's First Week: A Retrospective

Posted by wlansden | Filed under

By James Bowden

The proverbial sky isn’t falling. Ok, some of it is. But we’re cautiously optimistic about the piece directly above our heads. Joining a law firm during the most difficult economic times since the dawn of written history Great Depression is a bit of a gut check. Here’s what the most recent guy through the door is thinking about the whole thing: 

First, the attorneys at my firm have work to do and work for me to do.  Some of them are actually very busy. On the corporate side, the work is decidedly not boom-time work; large acquisitions and highly leveraged buyouts have been replaced by distressed asset sales and strategic partnerships. Still, it’s good and interesting work. I can’t speak to litigation, but I’ve hardly heard from a friend of mine that’s up there since we started on Monday – and a classmate of mine was actually called on to come in a week early to work in the finance and restructuring group. 

Second, all of the senior attorneys have not transformed into angry, venomous bridge trolls, jealously hoarding all of their clients whilst looking with coal-black eyes at everyone lower on the totem pole - expenses to be cut. They’re all the same nice folks I signed on to work with, and still seem genuinely interested in seeing me do well. On my first day here I was greeted with a friendly and honest welcome from our managing partner: “Great to see you. Things are tough but we are fine. Further bulletins as events warrant.” I saw him later that day, walking the halls and checking in on people, asking how they were doing. Things could clearly be worse. 

Third, the reality is refreshing. Fancy parties, big firm trips, and lavish meals can cover up too many dirty little (and big) firm secrets. I found the constant attention during recruiting uncomfortable and distracting, especially considering that spending time with attorneys privileged me much more than it did them. Recruiting was celebration of accomplishments not yet achieved. Now I happily pay for my lunches, and the congratulations for a job well done that I do get feel, well …deserved. 

Finally, I have to say that I’m excited about starting out in the ruins of what was once the world economy. People love to talk about how much fun things are when times are good, but if you listen to the stories carefully the close friends those people share good times with often became close friends during the bad times. I’ve got an inkling that relationships developing between clients and their attorneys today will be more lasting and meaningful; no one cares who represents them when they can’t lose, but everyone wants the absolute best when facing truly difficult obstacles. I’m seeing now as an opportunity to stand out in a way that I might not have when the contrast amongst attorneys was less stark.

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Good Idea - Bad Idea: Calling a Court "Ghetto"

Posted by wlansden | Filed under , ,

Good Idea: Speaking up when you feel the justice system has let you or your client down.

Bad Idea:  Calling a court "ghetto" when you are a high-ranking city attorney.

Worse Idea:  Citing online slang dictionaries in support of your argument that you did not intend to use the term in a racist way.

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