By James Bowden 
Personal Time Entries for October 16, 2009
7:30 – Leave home for work; expect to vomit for one reason or another in the following 12 hours
10:00 – Leave work to pick my spouse up from the airport, whose arrival is conveniently scheduled to remove me from the office when bar results are set to post; compulsively visit the Tennessee Bar Examiners’ “Successful” website via blackberry for 7,943rd time from the parking garage to no avail
10:45 – Arrive at home to drop spouse off before returning to work; question wisdom and necessity of returning to work due to personal conviction of failure; consider eating palpable doom and foreboding for lunch; think better of it; remember that I am required to return due to inopportunely scheduled training luncheon (“this is what you would be doing if you had actually passed the bar”)
10:46 – Receive text message from friend and law school classmate in Missouri: “Congratulations!;” receive Practice-Group wide email from Practice Group Leader congratulating all new associates for passing the bar; enjoy comfortable silence after dry heaving subsides; receive congratulatory kiss from spouse
10:51 – Leave home for work, having decided doing so was no longer awkward; commit first act of legal significance following receipt of results - break traffic code by placing cell phone call to mother while driving; mentally review affirmative defense of necessity
10:53 – Phone call to mother interrupted by phone call from insurance agent seeking to sell me a life insurance policy; really; ignore insurance agent call, consider purchasing call blocking
11:10 – Arrive at work; ponder that the world feels the same despite the addition of honorific suffix; remember that I owe $10 to a guy in Real Estate on the best lost bet ever; consider decorating office
Congratulations to everyone who passed the Tennessee Bar! Remember: it isn’t unauthorized practice of law anymore – now it’s straight malpractice. If you need to talk to someone, I know a really eager insurance agent.