Good Idea - Bad Idea: Lawyer and the Lions Den

Posted by wlansden | Filed under
Good Idea:    Donating to your local college.

Bad Idea:      Urinating on the campus of your local college in front of children and caged lions.

It's been a busy few weeks for this YLB contributor, so I am a little late posting about this.  But this one is too good to pass up.  A Florence, Alabama attorney was arrested around 11:00 a.m. on August 24, 2010 for allegedly urinating in front of children on the University of North Alabama campus.  The incident supposedly took place near the lions den on campus, where the children were viewing the lions.

This story begs two questions: (1) What rowdy party in Florence, Alabama did this attorney attend on a Monday night that had him drunk enough to think it was a good idea to urinate in public at 11:00 a.m. the morning after, much less near a lions den; and (2) Why does a small college need a lions den on campus?  The latter is just asking for mischief.

A web cam of the lions den is available here.  View at your own risk.

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Litigation Station: Litigation = Perspiration and Preparation

Posted by wlansden | Filed under , ,

By Brian Malcom

One thing I have learned is that litigation is hard work when done well.  Sure, you can let cases trot along at their own pace and cross your fingers that things work out in the end.  Or, you can take a case by the reins and steer it towards victory.  You may cross the finish line either way, but your chances and time will be a lot better if you take the latter approach.

Sometimes litigation can drag on for years.  Sometimes it comes with a fury.  What do you do when litigation ramps up?  Here are some tips for young litigation attorneys:

1)  Get organized.  Do this as soon as possible and especially when things are slow.  When the fur starts to fly, you won't have time to hunt for a discovery document in a pile of 50 boxes.  If you have a paralegal, keep him involved from the very beginning.  You may not think you need one in the beginning, but both you and the paralegal will be grateful that the file is organized in a way that allows the paralegal to perform his duties.  There is nothing worse than trying to organize a file at the last minute.

2)  Preserve all records.  You never know when that January 3, 2006 letter may come in handy.  Sure the letter seemed innocuous enough at the time; but in litigation disputes are born of innocent transmittals and such.

3)  Know your case and file.  Learn the file and review the materials as it grows.  If you try to search for a needle in a haystack once the file reaches critical mass, you may never find it.  Familiarity with your file and with the case will help you litigate and locate more effectively.

4)  Learn your opponent.  Litigation is situational, circular, and predictably unpredictable.  Confused?  Try to anticipate your opponent's next move and begin preparing today.  What would you do in her situation?  Better yet, what is she going to do (based on her patterns and habits) in her situation.  Sometimes the extra step you gain by anticipating what's coming can mean the difference between a win and a loss.  If you're wrong about your guess this time, store your work.  Most likely, that issue will come up somewhere in the life of the case.

5)  Build a team.  Sometimes the team on a case makes all the difference.  Not all cases will require a team of lawyers, but learn to recognize the ones that do.  If you see a team forming, jump in and begin contributing.  The goal is to learn from your experienced colleagues in the trenches and to earn their respect by fighting alongside.

Don't forget to take care of yourself during litigation.  An unhealthy lawyer is far less helpful and effective than a healthy lawyer.

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That'll Show 'Em

Posted by wlansden | Filed under
By James Bowden

Ever been mad at someone? Perhaps someone doesn’t value your services, or tries to stiff you on your bills for services rendered? Don’t get mad – get even. Sue them for …[doing my best Dr. Evil impersonation] … 38 Quadrillion Dollars.

You heard me right. Just to give you an idea of how much money we are talking about, written out that is $38,000,000,000,000,000.00. Total world circulation is about $24 trillion, or by my math 1/1,583th of the claimed damages. As a bonus, the article manages to state the obvious without a hint of irony: “If [the defendant] loses the lawsuit and [plaintiff] is awarded $38 quadrillion, or perhaps 204 times that amount, [the defendant] said he is not sure how he will pay it.”

I’m just going to let the article do the talking on this one, with the one comment that the claims the plaintiff is making are epic, even in the wacky context of pro se representation (Really? Punitive damages of 204^3 times actual damages for breach of contract? On what planet?).

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