Good Idea - Bad Idea: Order in the Court

Posted by wlansden | Filed under
Good Idea:  Judicial candor.

Bad Idea:    Judging someone's sexuality…from the bench.                 

A Wisconsin judge's comments yesterday in open court might be a good example of too much candor from the bench.  In a sexual assault case, Waupaca County Judge Phillip Kirk seemed to focus on the defendant's sexuality, and questioned his assertion that he was heterosexual.  The judge commented that:

       - “I think that if anyone believes that in the last 10 years or 15 years all of a sudden you
         developed an interest in homosexuality ... then I must have looked ravishing in my
         prom dress this year.”

        - ". . . [your heterosexual life] was all a lie."

Unsurprisingly, the remarks by the judge are stirring controversy.  Some believe the comments were intended to express the judge's understanding for the challenges faced by the defendant who may have been struggling with his sexuality throughout life, but certainly such a sentiment could have been communicated in a less inflammatory way, to say the least. 

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Ho-ray For Pro-Se

Posted by wlansden | Filed under ,
By James Bowden

What goes in Vegas may sue Vegas when it gets home, pro-se. Our hero today, Hubert Blackman, who is clearly a hilarious human being in an ironic, tragic and unintentional way, did not thoroughly enjoy the services he purchased from a member of the world’s oldest profession. Based on the tragicomic complaint that Mr. Blackman filed in Federal Court in the Southern District of New York and an article detailing the event published in the Las Vegas Sun, I’ll try to reconstruct the events that “had gotten happen on December 17, 2010 around 6:50 pm.”

    Mr. Blackman ordered a “stripper” from a periodical styled Las Vegas Exclusive Personals while visiting Las Vegas. The stripper performed traditional stripper services for him, plus a little bit extra (if you know what I mean, wink-wink, nudge-nudge, say no more), for a grand total of $275; following the delivery of services, Mr. Blackman called the escort service to complain that the stripper only stayed for half of the one-hour session and demanded a refund. When rebuffed, he wisely (for our purposes at least) chose to do the irrational thing and call the Las Vegas Police, at which point he “almost had (sic) gotten (sic) arrested.” Because while prostitution may be legal in some parts of Nevada, it certainly is not in Las Vegas.

    This epic vacation fail would have ended there and never made it to this humble blog, except that Mr. Blackman decided that once he was on a roll he shouldn’t  stop, and sued Las Vegas Exclusive Personals on the novel legal theory that “An excort (sic) had did (sic) an illegal sexual act on me during her paid service to me” and “the escort had (sic) broke (sic) the law.” Bravo, Mr. Blackman - Clarence Darrow you are not. Fortunately for the sake of establishing proof, despite there being no witnesses, “Technology acknowledged everything,” whatever that means.

    The damages? Well, a refund. And $1.8 million for “the tragic event that happened.” Perhaps the plaintiff even surprised himself at the size of the punitive damages; he appears to have written the amount in italics. Why does he need $1.8 million? For medical treatment of a psychotic disorder. The compliant implicitly suggests but does not explicitly state whether this disorder preceded the incident.

 

Blackman Complaint.pdf (159.20 kb)

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Good Idea - Bad Idea: Hourly Rates and Bizarre Behavior

Posted by wlansden | Filed under

Good Idea:  Earning your legal stripes and eventually billing at a high hourly rate because of your experience, expertise, skill, professionalism and demand.

Bad Idea(s):  Unreasonably charging your client, a soldier, $3,500/hr; asking a judge if he is a pedophile; brawling with court security officers; calling a court clerk a profane name; and otherwise shouting profanities at the court clerks.

Just like warning labels, these Good Idea/Bad Idea posts happen for a reason.  The ABA Journal is reporting that a Kansas City lawyer was disbarred for charging a soldier an hourly rate of $3,500, even though he agreed $3,500 would be a flat fee for his entire representation of the client.  The lawyer was also disbarred for shouting profanities at the court clerks, brawling with security officers after he set off the magnetometer, and previously suggesting that a judge was a pedophile.

The discipline opinion issued by the Supreme Court of the State of Kansas can be read here.

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Good Idea - Bad Idea: Lawyer and the Lions Den

Posted by wlansden | Filed under
Good Idea:    Donating to your local college.

Bad Idea:      Urinating on the campus of your local college in front of children and caged lions.

It's been a busy few weeks for this YLB contributor, so I am a little late posting about this.  But this one is too good to pass up.  A Florence, Alabama attorney was arrested around 11:00 a.m. on August 24, 2010 for allegedly urinating in front of children on the University of North Alabama campus.  The incident supposedly took place near the lions den on campus, where the children were viewing the lions.

This story begs two questions: (1) What rowdy party in Florence, Alabama did this attorney attend on a Monday night that had him drunk enough to think it was a good idea to urinate in public at 11:00 a.m. the morning after, much less near a lions den; and (2) Why does a small college need a lions den on campus?  The latter is just asking for mischief.

A web cam of the lions den is available here.  View at your own risk.

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Good Idea - Bad Idea: Destroying Evidence and Destroying Law Firm Documents

Posted by wlansden | Filed under
Good Idea: keeping careful records of your billable time and detailed information about your clients.

Bad Idea: destroying those same records in a bathroom of the courthouse during a civil suit brought by your former law firm employer, when those same records might have probative and evidentiary value.

This is one of those good idea/bad idea posts I feel is too obvious to write about. Regardless, it seems that some attorney out there could have used this information a while ago.

A lawyer in Ohio was recently suspended for one year for, among other things, destroying law firm documents in a courthouse bathroom while court was in recess from a civil suit claiming a violation of his employment agreement with the law firm.

The lawyer was apparently thinking about jumping ship from his law firm. He was in job talks with two other law firms. The lawyer supposedly removed boxes of documents from his law firm containing information about his firm's clients and the clients' billings.

The ABA Journal has the story and the opinion issued by the Ohio Supreme Court.

Some of the justices wanted to impose a stiffer penalty. 

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Good Idea - Bad Idea: Following Your Dreams

Posted by wlansden | Filed under
Good Idea:  Following your dreams towards a happy and fulfilling future.

Bad Idea:  Allegedly attempting to abandon your children to follow your dreams of being a stripper.  And then allegedly punching your 11 year old son in the stomach.  In front of a cop.  In Surprise, Arizona (Surprise! You’re in handcuffs!).

[Editors Note: while we recognize that this story is not the Young Lawyers Blog’s usual faire, we feel that the alleged perpetrator’s arrest gives the necessary legal content to justify carrying this story, which can only be described as a truly and absurdly epic fail.]

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Good Idea - Bad Idea: Choking A Prosecutor

Posted by wlansden | Filed under
Good Idea:  Politely expressing your dislike for being mocked by opposing counsel.

Bad Idea:  Choking opposing counsel at the courthouse after they supposedly mock you.

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Good Idea - Bad Idea: Juror Edition

Posted by wlansden | Filed under

Good Idea:  Serving duty as a juror—as required!  We have discussed this: Jury Duty: Served! and Jury Duty: Reprised

Bad Idea: Ignoring the Judge’s instructions while serving.  Yep, discussed this too: Juror Twittering Did Not Affect Jury Verdict and Tech Interference with Juries.

Even Worse: Asking the Defendant Doctor for medical advice—during the trial!    

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Good Idea - Bad Idea: Spying on co-workers

Posted by wlansden | Filed under
Good idea:   Security systems at law firms.

Bad idea:     A partner placing a hidden camera under a female employee's desk, even if one of his listed hobbies on the firm website is photography.

According to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, a partner at an Atlanta law firm has been charged with three counts of unlawful surveillance.  He is accused of placing a hidden camera under a female employee's desk, without her knowledge, at least three times. 

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Good Idea - Bad Idea: Loving and Lying

Posted by wlansden | Filed under

Good Idea:  Loving your spouse.

Bad Idea:    Lying to authorities when you're an assistant dean at a public law school about your spouse's counterfeit prescription drug scheme.

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