What goes in Vegas may sue Vegas when it gets home, pro-se. Our hero today, Hubert Blackman, who is clearly a hilarious human being in an ironic, tragic and unintentional way, did not thoroughly enjoy the services he purchased from a member of the world’s oldest profession. Based on the tragicomic complaint that Mr. Blackman filed in Federal Court in the Southern District of New York and an article detailing the event published in the Las Vegas Sun, I’ll try to reconstruct the events that “had gotten happen on December 17, 2010 around 6:50 pm.”

    Mr. Blackman ordered a “stripper” from a periodical styled Las Vegas Exclusive Personals while visiting Las Vegas. The stripper performed traditional stripper services for him, plus a little bit extra (if you know what I mean, wink-wink, nudge-nudge, say no more), for a grand total of $275; following the delivery of services, Mr. Blackman called the escort service to complain that the stripper only stayed for half of the one-hour session and demanded a refund. When rebuffed, he wisely (for our purposes at least) chose to do the irrational thing and call the Las Vegas Police, at which point he “almost had (sic) gotten (sic) arrested.” Because while prostitution may be legal in some parts of Nevada, it certainly is not in Las Vegas.

    This epic vacation fail would have ended there and never made it to this humble blog, except that Mr. Blackman decided that once he was on a roll he shouldn’t  stop, and sued Las Vegas Exclusive Personals on the novel legal theory that “An excort (sic) had did (sic) an illegal sexual act on me during her paid service to me” and “the escort had (sic) broke (sic) the law.” Bravo, Mr. Blackman - Clarence Darrow you are not. Fortunately for the sake of establishing proof, despite there being no witnesses, “Technology acknowledged everything,” whatever that means.

    The damages? Well, a refund. And $1.8 million for “the tragic event that happened.” Perhaps the plaintiff even surprised himself at the size of the punitive damages; he appears to have written the amount in italics. Why does he need $1.8 million? For medical treatment of a psychotic disorder. The compliant implicitly suggests but does not explicitly state whether this disorder preceded the incident.
 

Blackman Complaint.pdf (159.20 kb)

Good Idea:  Earning your legal stripes and eventually billing at a high hourly rate because of your experience, expertise, skill, professionalism and demand.

Bad Idea(s):  Unreasonably charging your client, a soldier, $3,500/hr; asking a judge if he is a pedophile; brawling with court security officers; calling a court clerk a profane name; and otherwise shouting profanities at the court clerks.

Just like warning labels, these Good Idea/Bad Idea posts happen for a reason.  The ABA Journal is reporting that a Kansas City lawyer was disbarred for charging a soldier an hourly rate of $3,500, even though he agreed $3,500 would be a flat fee for his entire representation of the client.  The lawyer was also disbarred for shouting profanities at the court clerks, brawling with security officers after he set off the magnetometer, and previously suggesting that a judge was a pedophile.

The discipline opinion issued by the Supreme Court of the State of Kansas can be read here.

Good Idea:  Serving duty as a juror—as required!  We have discussed this: Jury Duty: Served! and Jury Duty: Reprised. 

Bad Idea: Ignoring the Judge’s instructions while serving.  Yep, discussed this too: Juror Twittering Did Not Affect Jury Verdict and Tech Interference with Juries.

Even Worse: Asking the Defendant Doctor for medical advice—during the trial!    

Good Idea:  Loving your spouse.

Bad Idea:    Lying to authorities when you're an assistant dean at a public law school about your spouse's counterfeit prescription drug scheme.