By James Bowden
This morning the White House released a copy of a “long-form” birth certificate indicating that President Obama was born in Honolulu, Hawaii in 1961. Curious as to whether this document is legally sufficient to put to rest questions as to President Obama’s place of birth, I consulted the legal experts at Bert, Ernie, and Grouch, LLP, whose practice focuses on legal questions of this level of national import. I believe their responses are quite enlightening:
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"Does it taste like original birth certificate? I won't know until I can put it in my mouth and nom nom nom on it. Only way to convince me." -The Cookie Monster, J.D., Yale Law School, 1979
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"One ... Ah! Ah! Ah!... One original birth certificate!" - The Count, J.D., University of Chicago Law School, 1983, L.L.M., NYU, 1984
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“I find it interesting that commenters are questioning the validity of this document. It is clearly an original.” –Snuffleupagus, J.D., Harvard Law School, 1991
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“I hate it when Snuffy goes off at the mouth about things he knows nothing about. The document is clearly a forgery. He’s really been bugging me lately.” – Big Bird, J.D., Stanford Law School, 2007
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"NEAR! Nearly what members of the tea party indicated would be substantial proof! FAR! Far from what will actually satisfy them!" – Grover, J.D., Vanderbilt University Law School, 1991
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“The detainee at Guantanamo bay that I have represented since 2005 tells me that he couldn’t care less. Really, is this important?” –Oscar the Grouch, J.D., the University of Michigan Law School, 1971
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“Ernie is very happy about this.” –Bert, Managing Partner, J.D., Tulane University Law School, 1987
If you have any questions on this matter, please forward your questions to Bert, Ernie and Grouch, LLP, 123 Sesame Street, New York, NY 10121.